it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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