Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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