Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize