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• (310): View more from California

  I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  did we at least go back and get it?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  how else do you think we got jack in the box...?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.

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