he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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