She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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