Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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