oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
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I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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