how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
