oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
why is half of my head shaved?
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