Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
only if we run a train.
done.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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