I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I would fuck him just for his dog
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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