Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
