Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
