craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
