he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
