I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
