coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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