I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
