You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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