i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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