Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
