hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
sex in a hospital.. check
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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