She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
