too bad you live with your parents still
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
