too bad you live with your parents still
so let's talk penis.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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