I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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