Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize