Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
