I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
