it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
