i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
