yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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