trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
