Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
