The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
