I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
