i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
