kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He passed out mid-signature
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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