i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They took my balls.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
