I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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