ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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