ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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