Buhtt sex?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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