his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
