Small penises have feelings too.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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