Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
