What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Enjoy the penises
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
