When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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