her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We were destined to go to rehab together
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
