I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
