You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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