Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
