this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
