I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
