So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
