You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
